I have never been satisfied with anyone’s explanation of what a parent’s love for their child is. You must be a parent to really understand what true unconditional love is all about. You could talk about the euphoria you feel just after the birth of your child. Who can explain the deep joy, the connection, the emotional commitment you never dreamed possible. You never forget their first cold, the worry, the concern, am I doing the right things? Is there anything I can do to make it easier on my child? How should I react?   I don’t want to overreact. There is the child’s pain of teething. You really can’t stand the pain your child is going through at that time, and then there is the joy of hearing the clang of their first tooth.  The milestones come one right after another. There will be tricycles, bicycles and cars. Every day will be a new adventure filled with excitement and curiosity. He will be crawling to find things you never thought would be interesting that are on the floor. There is the ecstasy of their first step. First walking around furniture and then letting go. Neither parents nor children have any idea of the significance of those first steps of new independence. It will be a lifetime of steps towards independence. There will be the precious questions that you can hardly believe are so clever and so insightful that your child is asking. There will be perceptions that need more explanation. There will be their friends that you really like, and their friends that don’t please you as much. There will be outfits that they put on that make them cuter then you can imagine. There will be the first time they can read you a story and the first time they read something out of the newspaper and apply it to a conversation. There will conversations about sex, alcohol, drugs, religious beliefs and death. There will be moments when they need discipline. There will be moments when they will need support.

There will be moments when they seek advice or some type of intervention. They will make mistakes and you will hope that you are their soft place to fall. Have you established a relationship where they can tell you their mistakes?  Have you expressed your love every day? Is your advice important to them? Do you talk things over when you are making decisions that affect all of you?  Have you come to know your child well enough that you can help them learn about themselves? Have you set a standard of ethics and values that they can grow from and become better people? Do your children know about giving back personally, physically and financially? Is your child able to laugh easily? Is your child confident that they can fix their own mistakes? Do you know when to let go and let your child fly solo?

Have you given them enough respect for themselves that they can pass it on? It is easy to get a grip on when your parenting begins. You never get a good grip on when your parenting ends. You always  want to be helpful and supportive for as long as you live.


  1. Leah Amler (do not publish)

    Tell more!

  2. aaron and mintza leah

    beautiful words spoken from your heart to all of ours. we must treasure every second of parenting and all of life’s blessings, they are real gift. may hashem continue to bless you with wonderful healthy children. you and shelly are such giving parents. have a good shabbos, keep up your strength and know that we are all behind you and sending our love to you.

  3. beautiful. love,marcelle

  4. Sheila/Sarah Malka & Larry Margolis

    Dear Philip, Randy and Shelly,

    Such beautiful thoughts and feelings! Wishing you and your family a good and healing Shabbos!

    Love and hugs,
    Sheila/Sarah Malka & Larry

  5. I love your post!!!! It is excellent. I would like permission to copy it and save it. I want to share it with my daughters, for THEIR children, BUT, will not do so, until you give me permission. IF you rather I don’t, this is fine and I respect it. I am still praying and holding onto the Lord for Philip and all of you. Please have a blessed and peaceful New Year and my heart goes to you all in spirit. Love and bighugz, Lois ((((Philip, my dear friend)))) thank you.

  6. Dear friends: You should consider taking up writing….a blog….. or maybe even a book! Your words touched my heart I wish I could reach out and touch you all and hug you. Just know that our family is sending your family love and light. May Hashem bless you and keep you today. Love, The Powell girls

  7. Tina Haith-Kelly

    Philip is still in my prayers. I know that it has to be difficult but God has His arms of support and love wrapped around all of you. Keep the faith and know that even when the doctors say no God can say yes! Keep talking to Philip and let him heart your love for him. Praying for your strength to endure this race. Love and blessings to you.
    Tina Haith-Kelly

  8. Amen. Beautiful words,thought,and prayers for all of you. My heart aches for all of you, and what the whole world is missing. Kiss Phil for all of us, and the whole family.
    Love Aunt Renee

  9. Dear Aunt Randy and Uncle Shelly,

    I’m sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time. I wish you all the best of luck.


  10. just like the other people who posted, we were also very touched by your eloquence regarding parenting. since we are relative newcomers to parenting, it really hits home with how we can help our kids through the early years and give them wings for their later years. thanks for sharing your wisdom, and we are sending love and hugs your way for 2011…

    love, rebecca, issy, dalia and ilan cheskes

  11. Sheila/Sarah Malka & Larry Margolis

    Speaking of new beginnings, when is Philip’s/Pesach Yaakov ben Reizel Pesha’s birthday, so we can wish him a Mazal Tov and switch to reciting Tehillim # 42 as the one appropriate for his age?

    May Pesach Yaakov ben Reizel Pesha continue to receive G-d’s blessings for all he needs for a refuah shleimah!

    Love, hugs, caring, and support,
    Sheila/Sarah Malka & Larry

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