It has been four weeks since we have buried our beloved son Philip. The reality is setting in. We feel sure he is in a better place but we miss him terribly. It turns out we are usually private mourners. We get out with people and usually function pretty well; when we are in private we get sad and often cry. I wish he would come around the corner and make one of his funny comments.

Shelly and I often talk about Philip and the mourning process. We are both a little distracted and it has affected our memories. I am very grateful for the relationship that Shelly and I have. We are very comfortable sharing with each other and therefore we remain understanding to each other. At this point we feel comfortable in saying that we will be okay but the fact is there will always be a hole in our hearts. At this point the pain is very physical, we have all heard about the saying I have a broken heart. I always thought it was an emotional feeling and it is but it is also very physical. Life continues but it feels as if we are just observers.


  1. Dear Randy: I am so appreciative of your candor and sharing with us your thoughts and feelings at this most precious time in your lives. I cherish your friendship, transparancy and honesty. May you always be blessed. Cindi

  2. We wish there was something we could say or do to make the process easier…please know that we are thinking of you and the rest of your family.

    Rebecca Cheskes

  3. Jenny Kritchevski


    I was so happy to hear your voice on the phone today. Every time I speak with you it gives me clear sense of direction. I just wanted to tell you something. I couldn’t tell you on the phone, since every time I talk about something that has emotions involved my English becomes very limited.
    Two years ago when my Hannah was 6 months old she got into a hospital with a very serious infection. It was Shabbos morning. Hannah woke up with a high fever and a red swollen leg which was getting bigger and bigger. My husband was away. He just got a new job in NY. My babysitter was on vacation. I was alone with two little kids and a sick baby with no relatives around. It’s very hard to think clearly in this situation. I called the doctor. He said to bring Hannah to the office as soon as possible. I remembered you saying that you keep your phone on all the time in case Philip calls for an emergency, and I called you. You came right away so I could leave my older kids with you. It was crucial, as I learned later that Hannah had to be admitted to a hospital immediately and probably have a surgery because of the rapidly spreading infection.
    These few days in the hospital with Hannah were the scariest days of my life. I wouldn’t call them the worst days as I became closer to HaShem realizing life from a different perspective. Thank G-d, Hannah survived and she is a healthy and happy girl now. But without your support I wouldn’t have been able to manage and make important decisions without panicking and losing my mind. You organized our wonderful Chabad of Charlotte community to help me out and I can’t express how thankful I am for everything that was done for my family. The most important thing was that I never felt alone. Every time I look at my precious daughter I think of all these people who watched my other kids, brought meals to us, visited us in the hospital and said for us Tehillim. Edward and I were talking about you yesterday and I said to him: If it wasn’t for Randy and Shelly I would have still be recovering from an emotional shock. We wanted to call you but it was very late at night. So I called you today to say how lucky I am that I have a friend like you, but as I mentioned earlier, when I talk about important things I can’t put my words together…


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *