It is nine weeks today since Philip passed away. From all outward appearances we look like we are doing well. We are up each day accomplishing what we need to accomplish, we go out in public and spend quality time with people. Yet, the emptiness never really goes away. I feel very strongly that he is in a better place, but I miss him on every level. I want him to come around the corner and make a joke. I want him to make a comment every morning on what I am wearing. I want him to have had more life experiences. I want him to have had an easier life. Yet, there is nothing I can do or change. He would not be happy if he saw my pain. So, I keep trying, with him in mind.